Divorce Advice For Men Trying To Cope

Divorce Advice For Men Trying To Cope

Men have traditionally been seen as always having good coping skills with whatever life throws at them. However, now that we look back upon those stoic role models we can see this is not true with rampant drinking, drugs, nightmares, anger, and many other ways that extreme stress (such as divorce) can act out. So instead of this, men need divorce advice for men trying to cope because men are not made of stone, they have emotions that need to be understood before they can heal the wounds of a marriage break up. Advice on moving forward after divorce will help all those men asking themselves; why can't I forget my ex wife?

So let’s look at a man’s mental state, and the divorce advice you need to help with it:

Denial

This is usually the initial reaction men have when they are faced with divorce. This is the belief that the divorce is not real, and that their wife (or ex-wife as it may be) will turn around and reconcile. This is a fantasy constructed not to deal with the reality of the situation. This also makes men try all sorts of silly things to try to win back their spouse.

The long you stay in this fantasy zone the harder it becomes to accept and move on. You must take the step and realize this is real and this is permanent. If reconciliation is ever to happen you need to be a whole and healed person anyway which means you must reform your life before you can possibly make any relationship work.

Anger & Resentment

This is what so many men feel after they realize the marriage is gone never to come back. This is the minds defense mechanism that makes you weary of your ex, marriage, and women in general. It also feeds on the deep need to make the person who hurt you, hurt just as much.

The problem is that anger and resentment do nothing to help your situation at all. Your ex will not be any worse off from your words or actions or thoughts. You only sabotage your own life and happiness by carrying this burden.

Depression

Once you let go of your anger, a deep feeling of sadness usually sets in. This is a part of the grieving process as you need some time to be alone and deal with the loss of your wife and your former life. Where this becomes dangerous is when it heads towards full blown depression. This can lead to many problems in your life and some men go as far as suicidal thoughts if they cannot get out of this phase.

There are two ways to deal with this. One is external, where you need connection with people and activities not just to take your mind off your sadness, but to develop those social links that buoy the human spirit. Being alone only makes things worse, having friends and family around you will help. The other is internal. This comes from understanding your own mind and why you are depressed and cannot move on. This takes a little bit of introspection and some understanding of psychology.

To understand these concepts related to divorce advice for men trying to cope more deeply and also how to deal with all the little everyday problems that come up in post-divorce life, download complete guide for post divorce recovery for more information that can end this nightmare and give you freedom and happiness once more.

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3 Rules Of Coping With Divorce For Men

3 Rules Of Coping With Divorce For Men

Coping with divorce? Divorce can be a confusing and frustrating affair in a man’s life! Everything seems disturbed, unfair, upside down, and really painful. Divorce for men can feel like a slippery slope that you keep sliding down no matter how much you claw and struggle against it. Some of divorced men turn to drink or drugs, other become severely depressed and withdraws. Some of the lucky guys however, manage to get out of this funk and live a happy post-divorce life … recovering from a broken heart is difficult but not impossible; how do divorced people do it? Here are 3 rules of coping with divorce for men that may also help you.

Let Go of the Past - you can do it

Divorcees past can play like a poisonous beast that can consume your energy in the present and bring you untold problems. If you hang on to the past, obsess over it, reply it in your mind over and over again and relive good and bad memories regularly you more firmly put this in the front of your mind prolonging the agony of divorce. Instead you must release that to history and fill your mind with then present day and the future.

Review Your Life Goals - give some time to think over

Divorce is not an ending of life and your future, it is a chance for every divorced men like you to really review where you are, who you are, and what you want to achieve. This rebirth is your chance to create the life you want, free of the constraints of marriage and without the same burdens you used to have. You can now dare to dream, dare to live how you want, work how you want, experience what you want. Sit down and actually write down these things and start planning for them!

Learn to Forgive - remember it's the basic key of a new foundation 

Forgiveness is the only way to get truly free of divorce and all the problems that come with it. If you travel through life holding a grudge in your heart you will end up in misery. It has even been proven that those who forgive more are healthier, suffer from less anxiety, depression, and other mental illnesses. Being able to forgive does not mean forgetting, or condoning actions, it simply means that you no longer let these things make you unhappy anymore. Even if you do not understand the reasons and never will, being able to forgive and live life without hatred and bitterness is the only way to be truly happy.

For more detailed information on coping with divorce for men, follow the links below to discover the secrets of recovering from a broken heart and divorce.

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Coping After Divorce for Men Struggling With Marriage Break Up

Coping After Divorce for Men Struggling With Marriage Break Up

Are you not coping after divorce well? Are you overwhelmed with the painful memories, the bitter arguments, the feeling of emasculation, or are just sad for no definable reason? Coping with depression after divorce for men? Well perhaps you can take comfort in the fact that nearly all men go through this process, but those that come out the other side have done some serious mental rearrangement while those that get mired in post-divorce hell are missing some crucial pieces of information. To help you cope with this rough patch allowing you can be free of your divorce and be happy, here are a few things you must know.

Self Pity is Poisonous

While it is easy to say “poor me”, for a time you will have the luxury of moping and being sad, to continue this behavior is a self destructive and poisonous path. Being the victim may make you feel entitled to pity and sympathy but this quickly wears thin on other people and makes you reliant on other people stroking your ego. A man who is truly free of the impact of divorce will not wallow in self pity but will be happy with himself without the need for others to feed your self esteem and victim complex. You must take the step forward and release your victim and believe instead you are a winner!

Hatred Never Helps

Another negative emotion that guys get stuck on after a divorce is hatred and resentment towards their ex wife, or other people involved in the divorce somehow. This is a useless emotion though that hinders your personal development. IT also does nothing to hurt or hinder those that you hate, it simply drags you down and colors your life with a dark and hatful brush. Being able to forgive is a talent that will set you free from the emotional turmoil you are trapped in. For more information on coping after divorce for men to help you overcome the problems that beset you, click below for a guide written by a divorced man, for divorced men, to help them in coping with depression after divorce.

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Advice for Men after Divorce

Men after divorce often live a painful life, there is a great need of a professional advice to get rid off the unpleasant sufferings due to the psychological and emotional effects.

If you are looking for advice for men after divorce you are probably lost, or confused, or angry, or sad, or all of these things together! With the startling lack of support for men going through these issues it is no wonder us men find post divorce life a minefield that we navigate blindly.

Now, it does not need to be this way of course. Many guys have experienced this heart wrenching time in their lives and live to tell the tale. Some of them end up much happier than before once they sort through the issues, while others get mired in resentment, bitterness and negativity.

So what advice do you need to avoid the latter fate?

Well firstly, all men go through a process, a journey if you will. You will find yourself in stages of grief, depression, anger and finally acceptance. Men who are able to get through these phases quickly are usually more introspective and have a deeper knowledge of their own psychology.

This comes down to the root question of who you truly believe you are. When you lose your wife and your family unit due to a divorce your entire concept of who you are is challenged. This is a raging crisis below the surface, but often you only feel the surface emotions of anger, jealousy, resentment, depression the two big ones for men: Low self worth/self esteem and in many cases a feeling of deep emasculation.

Being able to deal with this crisis of EGO and SELF WORTH is how to get through a divorce and end up happy and healthy on the other end? It is not a short journey even for the most self aware man. However, being able to identify the destructive behaviours that are driven by these things and act to stop them at the root cause should be your goal.

If you want more advice for men after divorce that goes into more detail on these topics as well as the stages of divorce you will go through and even the day to day challenges you may face, click below to discover a complete guide written exclusively for men living life after divorce.

5 Steps of Divorce Recovery for Men and Women

There is a mental procedure that we all run through when confronted with scenarios including profound misfortune, for example an expiration in the family and likewise separation and divorce. As this is something that occurs over and over again we now know a general thought of post divorce recovery and how this plays out with 5 steps of divorce recovery for men and women.

Following are the 5 stages of divorce recovery for men:

Denial (Refusal)

The qualities of this phase of divorce are:

• Not accepting the divorce will truly happen
• Not considering the possibility of life after divorce
• Not truly recognizing the results of divorce
• Not interacting in a mature way with your wife or ex wife

Anger (Fury)

The anger stage happens when disavowal is at last broken and the actuality of the scenario at long last sunrises on you. It can have these outcomes.

• Lashing out against your wife verbally, or more awful … physically
• Taking your anger out on family, companions or even your kids
• Being bitter, sharp, angry and withdrawn
• Deliberately disrupting things for retribution
• Taking up drinking or substance misuse
• Being irate or angry at yourself

Bargaining (Haggling)

The phase of bargaining is a stage of desperation in post-divorce life. When you understand that outrage gets you no place you result in these present circumstances arrange and argue for things to be over as they were; or regardless to rescue to the extent that they can. A few things that may happen are:

• Pleading for compromise with your ex wife
• Blackmailing your ex wife to get back together or impact the conclusion of the divorce
• Trying to the extent that you can once more of your old life instead of advancing with another one
• Trying to sleep with your ex wife once more

Depression (Wretchedness)

Once bargaining doesn't work and you uncover the actuality of a last verdict of your separation hit you full power numerous men after divorce hit a time of feebleness and misery. This could be seen with a few issues, for example:

• Withdrawal emotionally and socially from life
• Lack of energy and reason
• Full blown clinical depression or wretchedness
• Crying (and often scorning yourself for it)
• Suicidal musings

Acceptance (Acknowledgement)

This is the 5th phase and last stage of tolerating the separation and in completing so having the capacity to proceed onward. Acknowledgement is a method of putting all the antagonism of the separation behind you, acknowledging it is over and another life is standing by! In the event that you are entering this stage you might begin to feel:

• Lifting of the sadness
• Increased energy and reason
• Freedom from enduring hatred
• Being ready to overlook and forgive your ex and yourself

In the event that you need to know not only the 5 steps of divorce recovery for men, but also how to speed up via these and not be aught up in the destructive actions that they can happen, Divorce Recovery For Men, to find out more.